Man arrested for stalking former girlfriend by sending her text messages

Why did she not simply just block him?

Why did she not simply just block him?

It would be perfectly logical that the victim consulted the police after blocking him, the complain is about him sending threating messages not about those messages being persistent over months.

Why did she not simply just block him?

Why block him when you can have him arrested in addition to breaking his heart? It's how you show female empowerment.

Seriously tho, the article says she "cut off contact with him" but by not blocking him we can see that she did not "cut off contact" - she just stopped responding.

Why block him when you can have him arrested in addition to breaking his heart? It's how you show female empowerment.

Creepy.

This perpetrator is clearly a nasty piece of work, making violent threats and stalking behaviour. No wonder she broke up with him. Now he will have a well-deserved criminal record.

I think the dude should be thoroughly questioned by police. If they think he did have violent intent, prosecute him. If not, a stern warning is in order - if he sends another message or gets within 100 metres of her, he'll be prosecuted.

That knock on your door isn’t her, it’s the police. Now she needs to move and change her habits so we don’t read another story about them.

Waste of taxpayer money. 6 text messages and run to the police. What kind of scary message did he send her? What about effectively communicating to him? So much of this story is missing to warrant police involvement. Suspect she might want to consider staying single.

Why did she not simply just block him?

Adding to what other says, he definitely knows where she lives, so blocking him in the digital world wouldn't prevent him from stalking her irl.

Seriously tho, the article says she "cut off contact with him" but by not blocking him we can see that she did not "cut off contact" - she just stopped responding.

Semantics. If someone breaks up with you, and hasn't responded to two or three text messages (personally I'd stop at one), it should be pretty clear their intentions.

Waste of taxpayer money. 6 text messages and run to the police. What kind of scary message did he send her? 

This is precisely what the police is supposed to do, protecting victims is not a waste of money. Also the content of the problematic messages is written clearly in the article "I'll never break up with you," "I'll come and get you," and "I'm coming to your home.” are perfectly valid justifications to involve the police.

Suspect she might want to consider staying single.

Compared with dating a psychopath? for sure, but most people will consider this criminal conduct and would not immediately blame the victim as you have done previously as well, so it is understandable for her to date someone that is rational instead of considering threats a normal part of a relationship.

Virusex.

It would be perfectly logical that the victim consulted the police after blocking him, the complain is about him sending threating messages not about those messages being persistent over months.

Not months but she waited at least 9 days.

Police said Tsuyoshi Setoguchi, a truck driver, is accused of sending six text messages to his former girlfriend between Sept 9 and Sept 18

"Strong language" and threatening messages are two different things. Let's hope he doesn't go any further than that.

Not months but she waited at least 9 days.

And on which day the actually dangerous messages were sent? for all you know the first week the messages were normal and when turned actually dangerous she consulted with the police, or that they were automatically redirected to the spam folder and recovered only when consulting the police, taken as evidence during the investigation with the cooperation of the phone company, etc. etc.

The point is that there are many different possibilities so it is invalid to automatically blame the victim as if she had anything to do with the criminal threatening her.

Police said Setoguchi has admitted to the allegation and quoted him as saying "I thought that if I sent her scary messages, she would respond. That's why I used strong language.”

Oh my, we got a real Don Juan here.

リッチ

What kind of scary message did he send her?

They are described in the article, no?

Men need to be more Alfa. Stalking a woman is a clear sign of weakness and pantheism. Just move on and find somebody else. But first reflect on your actions and why the relationship didn't work in the first place, so you both won't repeat the same mistakes again.

Sounds like a really stupid and potentially violent ex boyfriend and a really stupid and cold cowardly ex girlfriend. Nothing new here. But not quite stalking. Nobody likes to be ghosted and nobody likes to be bothered after breaking up.

Men need to be more Alfa.

Alpha/beta is astrology for Incels.

Other possibilities abound, for example if she had previously consulted her parents, or her girlfriends/colleagues etc. about the guy's behavior, and they had advised her to break off the relationship. Some guys can't take a hint.

We don't know what is going on between the two - she could have cheated on him and don't take responsibility. But six messages in a few days is part of a phase of breakup, not stalking

travelbangaijinToday 05:23 am JST

We don't know what is going on between the two - she could have cheated on him and don't take responsibility. But six messages in a few days is part of a phase of breakup, not stalking

I see.

So if a woman cheats on you, it's okay to send her messages to purposefully scare the hell out of her and make her think you're coming to her house to "get her".

Gotcha.

Why is this even a news item? Nothing happened. Guy was madly in love with a woman who maybe stopped him cold. Nobody knows anything about their relationship leading up to this. He couldn’t handle the breakup and acted foolishly. That’s all. Leave it alone.

But six messages in a few days is part of a phase of breakup, not stalking 

If you think the messages sent (as described in the article) are normal I have very bad news about your mental health. The messages are anything but normal and the victim is lucky the police took her complain seriously.

He couldn’t handle the breakup and acted foolishly. That’s all. Leave it alone.

And by acting foolishly he threatened the victim and broke the law, it is very important that this becomes public so other people that may have the same brilliant idea of sending threatening messages to get attention will know this can lead to their arrest.

Why is this even a news item? Nothing happened. Guy was madly in love with a woman who maybe stopped him cold. Nobody knows anything about their relationship leading up to this. He couldn’t handle the breakup and acted foolishly. That’s all. Leave it alone.

With respect, you would not make a very good defense lawyer for this perpetrator.

"Leave it alone, Your Honor!".

Nope. The perp is a stalker making violent threats. The law does not "leave it alone." Threats need to be taken very, very seriously.

This is very bad if the police will not act harshly to protect this woman because it might end up the way we used to read when the stalker desperately decided to commit murder.

Mr KiplingSep. 23 08:26 pm JST

Not months but she waited at least 9 days.

So what?

If it was a crime on day 1, it's still a crime on day 9, 10, 11 ...

What is your point?

So what?

If it was a crime on day 1, it's still a crime on day 9, 10, 11 ...

What is your point?

He is trying to blame the victim and argue this is nothing to worry about, believing that the victim was not even worried enough to block the messages for 9 days, so somehow she is the one at fault. (?)

Yes, of course.

Because whenever a man threatens or attacks a woman, she is

a) lying;

b) did something to deserve it;

or c) it is no big deal and she should shut up and stop talking about it because she is wasting the police's time.

From now on when such stories come up, these guys can use my handy guide up there and just type A, B, or C accordingly. It will save them a lot of time typing!

You're welcome guys!

The amount of victim blaming and incel behavior in the comments is insane.

A good chunk of articles in the crime section are women being killed by vengeful exes or those they rejected. I’m glad she reported him. Frustratingly, a lot of the aforementioned murder victims had already contacted the police about their stalkers, so these police BETTER keep tabs on this guy, even if he gets released…

girl_in_tokyo,

There underlying issue that cause situation like this to escalate. I lived in the West and know how violence manifest.

It is rarely the text messages or whatever action printed in the news. People snap and stalk because they feel deeply disrespected, plain and simple.

If an ex want to come after their ex, they would do it regardless. But most occur when someone feel deeply disrespected like being suddenly cutoff, ghost - that's disrespectful and why I'm learning Japanese men don't care for Japanese women.

So whatever virtual signaling you trying here, the key in life if to treat others with dignity and respect and hard ghosting another person is not something to play around with

girl_in_tokyoSep. 24 06:00 am JST

So if a woman cheats on you, it's okay to send her messages to purposefully scare the hell out of her and make her think you're coming to her house to "get her".

Of course such behavior is NOT OK.

If a woman does not want you and leaves you for what reason ever, as a man you are in a rather helpless position. There is nothing really what a man can do about it.

To be safe as a man the only and best advice is not to communicate with her at all, full stop - neither by phone or by email etc. also refuse any contact with her friends - just forget about her and look for somebody else.

travelbangaijinSep. 24 09:20 pm JST

.... occur when someone feel deeply disrespected like being suddenly cutoff, ghost - that's disrespectful and why I'm learning Japanese men don't care for Japanese women

Something true with this comment, there is no shortage of men lining up for dating women and if a woman does not like a certain man any longer, she just dumps him and replaces him easily - often within a few hours - with another boyfriend. She does not care at all about how he feels....just forgotten, next please...

Men are more sensitive about it, they often have a serious problem to find another female friend - they are disappointed, feel insulted, cheated and act angrily, like in this case.

However such a reaction might bring them into legal trouble.

Men have to learn about how to react correctly in case a woman is dumping them - just let her go, forget her, don't care about her anymore..... remain calm, also learn how to enjoy your life as a single man - which might take even a few years - until to find another female partner.

travelbangaijinSep. 24 09:20 pm JST

There underlying issue that cause situation like this to escalate. I lived in the West and know how violence manifest. It is rarely the text messages or whatever action printed in the news. People snap and stalk because they feel deeply disrespected, plain and simple.

Stalkers become stalkers due to mental instability.

The victims of stalkers are not responsible for the stalker's mental instability.

If an ex want to come after their ex, they would do it regardless. But most occur when someone feel deeply disrespected like being suddenly cutoff, ghost - that's disrespectful

You don't know that this woman ghosted her ex.

Even if she did, the victims of stalkers are not responsible for the stalker's mental instability.

and why I'm learning Japanese men don't care for Japanese women.

I do not understand what this means.

So whatever virtual signaling you trying here, the key in life if to treat others with dignity and respect and hard ghosting another person is not something to play around with

The key in life, if you have mental health issues, is to get help.

The victims of stalkers are not at fault for the mental instability that led to the stalking.

YohanToday 03:34 am JST

If a woman does not want you and leaves you for what reason ever, as a man you are in a rather helpless position. There is nothing really what a man can do about it.To be safe as a man the only and best advice is not to communicate with her at all, full stop - neither by phone or by email etc. also refuse

any contact with her friends - just forget about her and look for

somebody else.

There is no need at all to use gendered language here. Let me reword this.

If someone doesn't want to date you, you need to move on. Part of life is accepting that not everyone you like is going to like you back.

Something true with this comment, there is no shortage of men lining up for dating women and if a woman does not like a certain man any longer, she just dumps him and replaces him easily - often within a few hours - with another boyfriend. She does not care at all about how he feels....just forgotten, next please...Men are more sensitive about it, they often have a serious problem to find another female friend - they are disappointed, feel insulted, cheated and act angrily, like in this case.However such a reaction might bring them into legal trouble.Men have to learn about how to react correctly in case a woman is dumping them - just let her go, forget her, don't care about her anymore..... remain calm, also learn how to enjoy your life as a single man - which might take even a few years - until to find another female partner.

Why the gendered language?

Do I really need to point out that men also sometimes treat women cruelly?

Do I really need to point out that women also stalk men?

Do I really need to point out, again, that stalkers are mentally unstable and that it is not the fault of the victim that the stalker is mentally unstable and reacted unreasonably and abnormally to a breakup?

Think on this: stalkers don't only go after people they have dated.

Stalkers don't think rationally. Sometimes they stalk an ex, sometimes they stalk people in their neighborhood they have a grudge against, sometimes they stalk strangers, and sometimes they stalk people who did nothing to them at all.

Stalking is a form of mental illness, and it cannot be predicted what a mentally unstable person will do.

girl_in_tokyoToday 07:54 am JST

There is no need at all to use gendered language here. 

I disagree - situation is not the same, there is a big difference how men and women are reacting while facing the same situation. Men are much more sensible than women in case of rejection.

About the legal situation of stalking, there is also a significant difference if a woman is doing this with a man, or a man is doing it with a woman.

Let us see, just reverse the gender of this article above.

...sent text messages from HER mobile phone to HER former boyfriend, saying things like, "I'll never break up with you," "I'll come and get you," and "I'm coming to your home.”

...is accused of sending six text messages to HER former boyfriend 

...Police said the MAN contacted them and said HE felt anxious about HIS physical safety and freedom of movement.

...has admitted to the allegation and quoted HER as saying "I thought that if I sent HIM scary messages, HE would respond. That's why I used strong language.”

Do you really think, police will arrest HER? I don't think so. Why should they?

Do I really need to point out that men also sometimes treat women cruelly?

In general, women choose men, not the other way round. 

Women have many options and should act more carefully when choosing their men. Ladies, don't choose thise kind of worthless men. There is no shortage of men who do not mistreat females.

Unfortunately there is a significant number of women, who are looking for some 'special guy, who is showing up not to be boring' while a large number of ordinary men is rejected by them.

Do I really need to point out that women also stalk men?

Women stalk men? This is rather rare, but anyway if they do there are no legal consequences.

Men will hardly talk about this if it happens to them as they will face just some replies in return like 'what a lucky guy you are'.

Do I really need to point out, again, that stalkers are mentally unstable and that it is not the fault of the victim that the stalker is mentally unstable and reacted unreasonably and abnormally to a breakup?

I always told men in such a situation to remain calm, to forget about this woman, stay away and no contacts anymore as everything you say or write can be used against you.

I always told them that 'hate is a way to nowhere, a way into self-destruction'.

If the woman does not want you, there is nothing what you can do about it, forget about her.

However men are very sensible when a woman breaks up with them and leaves suddenly, they feel quickly insulted, acting even out of their mind.

In general men have nowhere to go in case of a problem with a woman - while women have plenty of options to ask for assistance.

You have to understand that most men are alone because they cannot find any female partner, while women are alone by their own choice.

YohanToday 02:23 pm JST

I disagree - situation is not the same, there is a big difference how men and women are reacting while facing the same situation. Men are much more sensible than women in case of rejection.

This is an assertion based on gendered stereotypes, and it is far from this simple.

About the legal situation of stalking, there is also a significant difference if a woman is doing this with a man, or a man is doing it with a woman. Do you really think, police will arrest HER? I don't think so. Why should they? Women stalk men? This is rather rare, but anyway if they do there are no legal consequences.

The law has no gender; the police do not apply the law differently to men and women. Women who stalk with text messages or phone calls would be arrested the same as a man would be.

In general, women choose men, not the other way round. You have to understand that most men are alone because they cannot find any female partner, while women are alone by their own choice.

This is not at all how women feel. In fact, many women would say they feel exactly the opposite.

The reality is that men and women chose one another. Each has a choice.

And this:

Do I really need to point out, again, that stalkers are mentally unstable and that it is not the fault of the victim that the stalker is mentally unstable and reacted unreasonably and abnormally to a breakup?

is still the case. The victims of stalkers cannot predict nor are they responsible for the behavior of someone who is mentally unstable. The victim-blaming people here are engaging in by asserting that this girl has caused or is somehow responsible for this man going off the rails is wrong-headed.