girl_in_tokyo comments

ebisenToday 02:46 pm JST

girl_in_tokyo - You're on a very slippery path here.

Remember that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. He's not flashing his genitals at her and in other context there's nothing wrong with men wearing loinclothes.

He was wearing thong underwear underneath pants. He pulled his pants down to show a girl his bare butt.

Where am I on a slippery path by saying that this kind of act needs consent and context, e.g., we give consent at the beach to see people in bathing suits that show more of our bodies that is generally not acceptable in other contexts.

Are you saying context, intent, and consent are moot points and do not matter? Because that would make everything a free for all, where anyone could do anything at any time - and as clearly that is not the case, you have to admit that context, intent, and consent do provide parameters for deciding whether something is okay or not okay.

And a man pulling down his pants in a shopping mall and flashing a young girl his bare butt without consent is pretty clearly not okay.

Yes, it's deviant and strange, but remember that in other countries women showing their faces is considered deviant. So you either want equality and accept that if a girl can flash her underwear at an arab guy while walking up the stairs without getting arrested so should this guy be able to do the same.

A girl can't pull down her pants in a shopping mall and flash her underwear at an Arab guy whom she does not know. She would be arrested the same as this guy was arrested. That is equality under the law, and I agree with it.

However.

If you are asking if I think that social judgement of a man who flashes a woman his butt should be the same as social judgement of a girl who flashes a man her butt, then no - because as we all know, men are bigger, stronger, and women fear that men who flash them will also rape and possibly kill them, while men do not have that kind of fear from women.

Only if women did not have to fear men and fear rape, would this be equal.

Your logic makes me want to chose the bear.

noypikantokuToday 04:07 pm JST

> "Middle Aged Woman" so what if it's a woman in her 20s would she be arrested too?

The reason for "middle aged" is to make a fully accurate comparison with the man in the story. But generally speaking, the age doesn't matter.

I think the society is hypocrite. We often see this on mainstream media, that when young women show their butts to men it is "Cute", "Sexy", or "Funny". But when its done by a middle aged man, it is perverted.

Because women don't generally attack, beat up, sexually harass, sexually assault, rape, and murder men on the same scale that men attack, beat up, sexually harass, sexually assault, rape, and murder women, - so as a society we tend look at those two actions differently. We see a woman flashing a man as funny or sexy, but a man flashing a woman as sexual predation. Is is bias? Yes, but there is a logic to it.

Im not saying that the action of this guy was right! It is indeed perverted. But my point is that the system is so selective. I bet that if this is done by a young woman, for sure we won't be discussing about this and police will probably just laugh about it for sure

The legal system does not discriminate by gender. The law is the same law for everyone.

Do the police discriminate? I am sure there are police who do, since they are as human and prone to bias as any other human. But the law is the law for everyone.

This is stalking issues, if a woman reports a case of stalking, cops will take it seriously. But, if the accuser is a man, cops will not take it seriously.

This is quite true, and very very unfortunate. In such serious cases where someone is terrorized or injured, it's not at all logical to maintain the bias that women are not a danger to men. Clearly, there are times that they are.

AlongfortherideToday 02:05 pm JST

No, what they are comparing to is the same age girl who enjoy going to the beach with a piece of string up their but cracks showing off to the world the same as this guy did. But of course its ok for females to do that right? Just men who can't

Men can and do wear tiny binkini swimsuits at the beach. It's perfectly ok.

Please post a link to any law books that state that.

If you are unsure of the legal definition of sexual consent, I have two suggestions:

Look it up

Until you look it up and understand it thoroughly, stay far far away from all women.

> And women are perfect yes? You don't ever see cases of women engaging in criminal acts on here right?

What has this to do with anything?

Are you saying that because women commit crimes, that it's not so bad if men do, too? If not, then what IS your point? There is zero logic in this comment.

noypikantokuToday 12:28 pm JST

So what if its the other way around? A woman wearing super mini skirt, exposing her T-Back to a teenage boy behind her. Can that be a ground to arrest this woman for the same offense as this man? Because I've seen that very often here in Tokyo and I didn't see cops making arrests. These policies are kinda biased.

No, it the law is not biased. It is applied to both men and women in exactly the same way.

Rest assured that if a middle aged woman was wearing pants with thong underwear underneath, then pulled down her pants to flash a teenage boy behind her "to show him my t-back", then yes, she would be arrested, and rightly so, because that is flashing. And morally speaking, it would be considered by most people as a form of sexual predation on a minor.

That is why the man was arrested.

I can't believe I have to explain this - and to more than one person.

Sheesh.

Another one?

What the hell, people.

There is something seriously wrong with the men on this site.

ebisenToday 12:54 pm JST

So at a festival then other day I was proudly wearing my fundoushi (FUN-doushi ;) ) buttcheeks in plain view. The same as hundreds other men. Women didn't seem to mind, quite the opposite, some drunk ones seemed to enjoy it more than normally. Was that an arrestable offense too?

I'm sorry, but WHAT?

Are you really saying that consent does not matter? Are you honestly equating women wearing skirts, which is a socially accepted item of clothing, with a man flashing his butt at a teenage girl?

When you go to the beach, you are consenting to see people, men and women, in bathing suits.

When you go to the shopping mall, you are not consenting for a man to pull his pants down to show you his butt for his own sexual gratification.

I just can't with these comments. And you wonder why women chose the bear ...

Alongfortheride Today 09:02 am JST

Yes agree this guy is a nutcase but on the flip side to this that same 18/19 year old then goes to the beach in summer in a bikini that exposes the same thing and thats fine.

WoodyLee Today 09:07 am JST

Why is it okay for females to flash and expose the top and bottom parts of their bodies and NOT MEN??

What would society think of Men wearing Mini Skirts, T backs, Bikini's, no tops, and all the sexy and provocative clothing women use to flash their body parts!???

I could never understand the logic of this Hypocrisy!!!

Men should be allowed to do what ever women can get away with.

“Men do not understand women and their bodies,”

In general, no they do not.

Bless these fuzoku ladies for this service!

God, the WINGING by heterosexual men who are butthurt that some women, goddess forbid, don't WANT them, is absolutely MUSIC to this bisexual feminist's ears, LOL.

Keep the comments coming, guys. You're making my day brighter!

falseflagsteve Today  08:17 am JST

Yes, but he was a man using a purse.

Right, because using a coin purse for your coins instead of putting them in your pocket like a Real Man makes you gay. Just like those guys who OMG wear pink or even gasp - carry a bag!!

And of course, being gay is bad, umkay, because (vague mumbling, conspiracy theories about chemtrails and gay frogs) and (more mumbling and hyper-masculine posturing).

You go, Steve. This helps us all know you are totally 100% CISGENDER HETERO MALE. Booyah!

BertieWoosterNov. 12 05:54 pm JST

It's really very simple. He has a male body with male body parts and male chromosomes, he's a man and uses mens' toilets. It doesn't matter what he feels. His mental health is not helped by going into agreement with his private fantasy.

Biology and psychology are anything but simple.

That you think it is just shows a personal lack of understanding.

In all my experiences of sexual assault and harassment, which are many, exactly none of them were transgender women in bathrooms.

Women aren't afraid of transgender women in the bathrooms. We are afraid of cisgender men, period.

People are beginning their comments by saying that hugging isn't a big deal.

You're condoning assault.

Women have the right to move through the world without a random stranger touching their body, in any way, shape, or form.

Why is that so hard for you to understand?

ZaphodToday 02:58 am JST

Sure it can be, as can lots of things. Calling a girls bar a "sex business" however, is huge stretch. By that token, most everything is a "sex business". And girls bars have nothing to do with "pedophilia" either, which you also brought up.

I'm not sure what it is you disagree with here. Any business where women are catering to the desires of a male clientele, where the main feature of the business is the availability of women for the entertainment of men, is about sex. Therefore, it's sex work.

You said, "Because men tend to like young women" yet are denying that this work has anything to do with sex - that seems incredibly disingenuous when you have tacitly agreed with me that the entire purpose of such a cafe is to provide men with young girls to talk to and look at and perv over.

These establishments cater to male sexual desire. Even if no actual physical sex in involved, these businesses are in the same genre. Whether it's a girl's bar, a maid cafe, a bikini bar, a Hooter's, it is about sex and desire. And it is not a healthy atmosphere for young women who are just starting to come into their own sexuality.

I brought up pedophilia because of the age of the girls working in these establishments. They're young - too young - to truly understand what they're getting into, and older men should know better than to indulge in this kind of behavior with girls who, as I said, should be at home doing homework, chatting with friends, or working at a McDonald's for pocket money. Again, "Because men tend to like young women" - in this case, it's extremely young women, not age-appropriate women, which is highly unethical.

Honestly? I think you know this and by this point are simply being obtuse because you don't like to admit that your initial thoughts on the matter were hasty and not well-thought out. Now that you've had time to consider the points I've made, I hope you come to a different conclusion.

Come down to earth. Now tell us more about your 水商売 experience.

I brought it up because you called me a prude, so it was necessary to counter that view. Now that you know I am the furthest thing from a prude, and am coming from a place of experience and concern, has that changed your mind?

She was 18. Nothing to do with "pedophilia"?

Because men tend to like young women. What in the world is strange about that? Would it permissible in your mind for men go to cafes where the only staff are old men?

Again, I really don't feel I should have to explain why young women don't exist for male fantasy and entertainment, or why sex work is a bad path to lead young women down.

Who is "they"? Girls bar jobs very straight forward, not related to shady sex businesses. Honestly, your comments sound like someone has time-travelled here from the Victorian England era.

As someone who has worked in 水商売 , I'm the best person here to know its definition, what is entailed, how it works, and how it can be very bad business for women, especially younger ones who are just starting out in life.

It really is hilarious to me when people think my views are "Victorian" considering the reason that I know these things all too well.

ZaphodToday 01:58 pm JST

Nonsense. I know several girls who work part-time in girls bars, and there is nothing shady going on there. Is is all about looking cute, sing karaoke, and getting the customers spend another 3000 yen or so to stay another hour.

That is not to say that some girls might have other issues and be involved in other things, but that has nothing to do with the concept of "girls bars". It seems some people here let their imagination run wild.

What about "catering to the desires of pedophile men" was difficult to understand? Do you actually need someone to explain to you why men shouldn't patronize cafes that have young girls as a feature?

And yes, they are grooming these girls for sex work, because working in a cafe where you serve drinks to men where the entire purpose is to provide men with young girls to talk to and look at and perv over is sex work.

Girl bars are sex work

Hostess bars are also sex work

And all too often, girls who are groomed from a young age to do sex work wind up dependent on sex work to make a living, and end up in abusive situations or are even murdered, as the poor girl in the article was.

Sex work is inherently dangerous, particularly for the very young, and I wish that it wasn't so normalized in Japanese society to the point where there are men actually arguing that it ISN'T sex work.

EugeneToday 09:13 am JST

I think a few of you are confusing "girls bars" with "hostess bars"

I have been to quite a few girls bars with friends. The barmaids do not sit with customers, they do not hustle drinks. They will sometimes drink if offered but they are just regular drinks at regular prices.

The drink prices in girls bars are reasonable.

The barmaids do not have "handlers"

Regardless, the girls are being groomed for sex work. It's still an extremely misogynistic and unsafe business for young women to work in, and patronizing those places allows them to continue to flourish. It's just shameful that men go to these places, when these girls should be at home doing their homework, chatting with friends, playing sports, chilling at home with a movie ... instead of catering to the pedophilic fantasies of men old enough to be their fathers.

I'm sorely tempted to reply like many of the men do here, and say something like,

"We should put some of the blame on the boy, maybe he is engaging in prostitution, or lied about his age, or is lying, or ..."

But I won't, because that would be wrong. Instead, I'll say this:

commanteerToday 10:27 am JST

She should be investigated and prosecuted in the same way as a 42-year-old man who is doing exactly the same with a girl of the same age. Laws are gender-neutral and should be executed like that.

Disagree. I applaud your desire for equality, but men and women are fundamentally different. The idea that laws must be applied equally, especially in cases like this, is just senseless.

shogun36Today 11:06 am JST

a teenage boy

is that 13? 19? 16? It kinda makes a difference.

taking him to a hotel for the purpose of engaging in lewd activities

if the teen is 19, this is a bad thing?

The ender of the perpetrator or the victim is irrelevant - adults should not seek out sex with minors, as they do not have the maturity to understand their actions or think them through, and therefore cannot give active consent.

It is illegal for a reason. It is a form of rape and sexual abuse.

DatAssToday 09:29 am JST

Protip: just eat more meat.

Pro Tip: stop caring about what other people eat.

divindaToday 06:57 am JST

You feel discriminated against because you are using the same service as other passengers and your weight is beyond your control.

People don't control their height or how they are built. I can see why someone would need to purchase a second seat if they can't fit into a normal one, but airlines also keep trying to fit more and more seats into economy. Meanwhile passengers who can afford business can class stretch out.

This is more about the greed of the airline industry than anything else.

YohanToday 11:19 am JS

For sure he did not know the real age of one of the girls when answering to her post on social media that she was looking for a sugar daddy.

He looked for young girls to have sex with, and when he saw them and how young they looked, he still wanted to have sex with them.

13 year olds look like 13 year olds, act like 13 year olds, and no 13 year old is going to look, sound, or act 18.

He is a child molester and rapist no matter how you try to justify this.

YohanToday 02:23 pm JST

I disagree - situation is not the same, there is a big difference how men and women are reacting while facing the same situation. Men are much more sensible than women in case of rejection.

This is an assertion based on gendered stereotypes, and it is far from this simple.

About the legal situation of stalking, there is also a significant difference if a woman is doing this with a man, or a man is doing it with a woman. Do you really think, police will arrest HER? I don't think so. Why should they? Women stalk men? This is rather rare, but anyway if they do there are no legal consequences.

The law has no gender; the police do not apply the law differently to men and women. Women who stalk with text messages or phone calls would be arrested the same as a man would be.

In general, women choose men, not the other way round. You have to understand that most men are alone because they cannot find any female partner, while women are alone by their own choice.

This is not at all how women feel. In fact, many women would say they feel exactly the opposite.

The reality is that men and women chose one another. Each has a choice.

And this:

Do I really need to point out, again, that stalkers are mentally unstable and that it is not the fault of the victim that the stalker is mentally unstable and reacted unreasonably and abnormally to a breakup?

is still the case. The victims of stalkers cannot predict nor are they responsible for the behavior of someone who is mentally unstable. The victim-blaming people here are engaging in by asserting that this girl has caused or is somehow responsible for this man going off the rails is wrong-headed.

YohanToday 03:34 am JST

If a woman does not want you and leaves you for what reason ever, as a man you are in a rather helpless position. There is nothing really what a man can do about it.To be safe as a man the only and best advice is not to communicate with her at all, full stop - neither by phone or by email etc. also refuse

any contact with her friends - just forget about her and look for

somebody else.

There is no need at all to use gendered language here. Let me reword this.

If someone doesn't want to date you, you need to move on. Part of life is accepting that not everyone you like is going to like you back.

Something true with this comment, there is no shortage of men lining up for dating women and if a woman does not like a certain man any longer, she just dumps him and replaces him easily - often within a few hours - with another boyfriend. She does not care at all about how he feels....just forgotten, next please...Men are more sensitive about it, they often have a serious problem to find another female friend - they are disappointed, feel insulted, cheated and act angrily, like in this case.However such a reaction might bring them into legal trouble.Men have to learn about how to react correctly in case a woman is dumping them - just let her go, forget her, don't care about her anymore..... remain calm, also learn how to enjoy your life as a single man - which might take even a few years - until to find another female partner.

Why the gendered language?

Do I really need to point out that men also sometimes treat women cruelly?

Do I really need to point out that women also stalk men?

Do I really need to point out, again, that stalkers are mentally unstable and that it is not the fault of the victim that the stalker is mentally unstable and reacted unreasonably and abnormally to a breakup?

Think on this: stalkers don't only go after people they have dated.

Stalkers don't think rationally. Sometimes they stalk an ex, sometimes they stalk people in their neighborhood they have a grudge against, sometimes they stalk strangers, and sometimes they stalk people who did nothing to them at all.

Stalking is a form of mental illness, and it cannot be predicted what a mentally unstable person will do.

travelbangaijinSep. 24 09:20 pm JST

There underlying issue that cause situation like this to escalate. I lived in the West and know how violence manifest. It is rarely the text messages or whatever action printed in the news. People snap and stalk because they feel deeply disrespected, plain and simple.

Stalkers become stalkers due to mental instability.

The victims of stalkers are not responsible for the stalker's mental instability.

If an ex want to come after their ex, they would do it regardless. But most occur when someone feel deeply disrespected like being suddenly cutoff, ghost - that's disrespectful

You don't know that this woman ghosted her ex.

Even if she did, the victims of stalkers are not responsible for the stalker's mental instability.

and why I'm learning Japanese men don't care for Japanese women.

I do not understand what this means.

So whatever virtual signaling you trying here, the key in life if to treat others with dignity and respect and hard ghosting another person is not something to play around with

The key in life, if you have mental health issues, is to get help.

The victims of stalkers are not at fault for the mental instability that led to the stalking.

Yes, of course.

Because whenever a man threatens or attacks a woman, she is

a) lying;

b) did something to deserve it;

or c) it is no big deal and she should shut up and stop talking about it because she is wasting the police's time.

From now on when such stories come up, these guys can use my handy guide up there and just type A, B, or C accordingly. It will save them a lot of time typing!

You're welcome guys!

Mr KiplingSep. 23 08:26 pm JST

Not months but she waited at least 9 days.

So what?

If it was a crime on day 1, it's still a crime on day 9, 10, 11 ...

What is your point?

travelbangaijinToday 05:23 am JST

We don't know what is going on between the two - she could have cheated on him and don't take responsibility. But six messages in a few days is part of a phase of breakup, not stalking

I see.

So if a woman cheats on you, it's okay to send her messages to purposefully scare the hell out of her and make her think you're coming to her house to "get her".

Gotcha.

YubaruSep. 17 06:35 pm JST

IF she send nude pictures of herself to the guy, she is ALSO guilty of the child porn law. Sure he is guilty, but SHE is not without blame according to the law.

Taking selfies of yourself isn't child porn. Child porn is when an adult exploits a child. Since it is impossible to exploit yourself it's not child porn. This argument is ridiculous. JMFC.

ッチToday  01:52 pm JST

Girl_in_tokyo they are children

Yes. Which is why we can forgive her for perhaps being too naive and not having good judgment in who she can trust.

And why we should be alarmed at a young man planning out ways to rape women.

and frankly any girl or woman sending nudes to a man or boy should expect them to be share on the internet.

What do you mean? That women who share nude photos with a man who turns out to be a not to be trusted and a horrible person deserve to be punished by having their photos put online?

Or do you mean that women should be very careful about sharing nude photos with men because there are men in the world who are horrible people?

I’m sick of these I’m the victim. She took part. *

Ah. You mean she deserves to be punished for her poor judgment and naïveté by having her phots shared and being threatened with rape. Got it.

This isn’t the west thank goodness. The west has gotten totally insane on ruining children’s lives over nonsense. Maybe we can arrest her for sending child porn thru the internet. That’s what she did sending her nudes out. If this was the west persons that would be a crime also. She isn’t innocent.

She is a child, as you pointed out. But you would punish her severely for having poor judgment and naïveté, yet give the boy a slap on the wrist for planning a rape.

How do you logically justify that, other than by admitting that you think women should not be sexual and should never express their sexuality.

Hm. But where does that leave men? It seems to me that oppressing women and punishing them for being sexual human beings is shooting your self in the foot.

On one hand, men continually complain that their girlfriends or wives aren’t giving them enough sex, and the on the other they want to oppress female sexuality and frighten them into repressing themselves, and teach them to be afraid of sex and be afraid of men..

You can’t have both.

Trump is such a big baby. Using his platform to hate on a celebrity just because she endorsed the other candidate is hugely petty. If he can't stand on his own two feet and get elected on his own merit, he should just stand down right now. I can't express just how incredibly not normal it is for a so-called "presidential" candidate to behave the way he has behaved.

リッチToday 07:12 am JST

This doesn’t need the drama of national news and being arrested and charged but some parental interventions and possibly some psychiatric assistance. The girl clearly was involved with arousing him and appears to be just childish attempt to manipulate her just like she probably was manipulating him. An innocent girl wouldn’t be sharing photos that couldn’t be posted without some dubious intentions herself.

It doesn't matter if she sent him pictures of herself or not - he's the one who committed a crime, and planned out a way he could rape her. Yes, rape her - coercion is forced sex, and forced sex is rape.

You are reaching for a way to downplay rape and to blame the victim.